ATTACHMENT
COACHING
WHAT WOULD SECURE ME DO?™
Helping you end unhealthy relationship patterns by embracing the mindset and habits of secure attachment.
(For individuals and couples)
Do you wish you could approach dating and relationships with calm, clarity, and confidence, like the secure version of yourself you know is within reach?
What’s Keeping You Stuck?
Do you often feel:
✓ Overwhelmed by fear of rejection or abandonment?
✓ Afraid to express your feelings and needs, fearing you’ll disappoint or push others away?
✓ Caught in a cycle of overthinking or second-guessing your decisions?
✓ Unsure how to set boundaries or maintain your sense of self in relationships?
✓ Frustrated by your behaviors and not knowing how to change them?
Then this is your opportunity to break free from those patterns and step into the version of yourself who knows how to create healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Through the My Secure Self Method you will learn the tools, strategies, and mindset shifts to help you align with the secure version of yourself in relationships. It’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not – it’s about uncovering the confident and authentic you that’s already there!
I’m Jessica Da Silva, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach helping adults with insecure attachments (i.e., anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant styles) end unhealthy attachment patterns, reconnect to their authentic selves, and build lasting confidence in their relationships.
After personally experiencing numerous unhealthy relationships that I was equally responsible for, I was determined to heal the insecurities driving my unhealthy behavioral patterns. Growing up with a predominantly fearful avoidant attachment style (leaning anxious), I would find myself easily triggered within relationships. Jealousy, worry, overthinking, and control were common experiences that would provoke much of my self-sabotage. And because I had no understanding of these internal challenges, let alone how to navigate them in a healthy way, I would instantly become reactive and therefore behave in ways that were counterproductive to creating the healthy, secure relationships I deeply craved.
Attachment research shows us that our earliest relationship dynamics greatly influence how we experience love as adults. These earlier experiences (whether with caregivers, romantic partners, family members or friends) become the relational blueprints we subconsciously follow and recreate, until we make the conscious choice to shift our internal working models.
After ending my last (and final) painful relationship years ago, I decided to continue my education in psychology by enrolling in a Master’s Program for Marriage and Family Therapy and immersing myself in the world of self-development.
I worked with children, families, individuals, and couples to find healthier ways of relating to themselves and those around them.
These transformative years helped me realize:
Our past does not have to define our future.
We can train our brains to work for us rather than against us…
Learning healthier ways of responding versus reacting are pivotal for ending self-sabotage…
We can 100% learn to become more securely attached by implementing small and effective shifts into our daily lives.
Since then, I have branched out into attachment coaching, helping thousands of people transform the way they experience love through practical, evidence-based strategies that I'll be teaching you within our one-on-one sessions.
NO MORE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. LET’S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
If you are looking for a solution focused and action oriented approach to healing, coaching is for you!
What clients are saying…
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Thank you sosososo much for this amazing experience of being involved in this program. ❤️❤️ The knowledge and skills that I have learned from you will always be carried with me no matter where I am. I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I truly value all of your insights and guidance, I am so excited to continue building on these skills and creating a stronger secure version of myself.
Priyanka S.
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It’s been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I’m now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I’d get to this place, but understanding my attachment style and understanding that it’s not a fault but a beautiful framework of how I need to be loved has truly changed my life.
Sophie B.
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I couldn’t be more grateful to Jessica. Learning about my attachment style and how it’s impacted all of my relationships has been so illuminating. It’s been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my “secure self”—but here we are!
Chris E.
WHAT ARE ATTACHMENT STYLES AND HOW CAN IT HELP YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU EXPERIENCE LOVE?
Attachment Theory is a highly recognized evolutionary and psychological approach based on the scientific fact that all humans are wired for connection.
What this means is that we all have a biological need for love and belonging….We can’t escape it, we can only learn and evolve from them.
According to extensive research, we experience love and attachment in one (or a variation) of these four styles: Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized), and Secure Attachment Style.
These attachment styles are developed in our earlier relationships, with people we depended on or had an emotional connection with (i.e. with parents, caregivers, partners, friends, family, etc) and it follows us through adulthood…Which is why we find ourselves in cyclical and familiar relationship dynamics, time and time again.
Attachment Theory gives us insight into:
-Why we choose certain partners.
-Why we repeat specific relationship patterns.
-Why we think, feel and behave the way we do when it comes to love.
-Our relationship triggers and needs.
-A framework to becoming more secure.
ATTACHMENT STYLE BREAKDOWN
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SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with a Secure Attachment Style believes that emotional intimacy is safe. They have a positive concept of self and a positive concept of others. Love feels trusting and dependable. Secure Attachments know how to meet their own needs and can be empathetic to the needs of others. Not only do they feel confident in their ability to give love, but they’re just as secure in their ability to receive it.
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ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with an Anxious Attachment Style (Preoccupied) has a deeply rooted fear of abandonment. If love or emotional intimacy felt fleeting or conditional in their earlier relationships, then they are most likely hypervigilant in their current relationships to anything that may indicate rejection. Things like disconnection, distance, and inconsistencies will cause the anxiously attached person to overthink, excessively worry, be overly dependent, feel “not good enough,” and overcompensate to keep the relationship afloat.
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DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style has difficulty with emotional intimacy. They have a hard time connecting to their emotions and expressing what is on their heart. This disconnect causes a lot of the challenges they face within their relationships. Avoidant’s also have a tendency of withdrawing and distancing themselves when they experience relationship anxiety, making it difficult to create secure bonds with those they love.
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FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
A person with a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style (Disorganized) lives in an ambivalent state of wanting closeness/connection and then wanting distance. Fearful Avoidant’s experienced deep traumas and forms of enmeshment in their earlier relationships. They have the capacity to love and connect with those closest to them but simultaneously fear that they will be betrayed or taken advantage of. These beliefs trigger much of the relationship anxiety they experience and sabotaging behaviors.
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS
Priyanka S.
Megan k.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE SINGLE:
Identify and work through unresolved issues from the past that may be interfering with your ability to find or experience healthy relationships.
Improve your understanding of relationships and it's natural stages so that you can create realistic expectations for love.
Gain a deep understanding of how you give and receive love based on your attachment needs and belief systems.
Gain insight into your attachment patterns: Who you’re attracted to and why you tend to be attracted to these types of people.
What to look for and avoid in a potential partner based on your specific attachment needs.
Practical tools geared towards helping you cultivate a secure attachment style.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Having a deep understanding of you and your partners attachment style: How you both give and receive love.
Insight on your triggers and needs within the relationship, as well as your partners.
Understanding each others attachment language so you both feel seen and heard.
How to set and communicate boundaries.
How to emotionally self-regulate in times of pain and disconnect.
Confidence in staying or leaving a relationship.
Practical tools geared towards helping you cultivate a secure attachment style.
MY SECURE SELF METHOD
8 SESSION BREAKDOWN
WEEK 1: RECOGNIZE YOUR ATTACHMENT PATTERNS
WEEK 2: CREATE YOUR SECURE SELF BLUEPRINT
WEEK 3: DISCOVER AND FUFILL YOUR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS
WEEK 4: ESTABLISH HEALTHY BOUNDARIES FOR PERSONAL AND RELATIONAL SATISFACTION
WEEK 5: CHALLENGE THE FEARS AND INSECURITIES THAT KEEP YOU STUCK
WEEK 6: COMMUNICATE LIKE THE SECURE AND CONFIDENT YOU
WEEK 7: STRENGTHEN YOUR SELF-WORTH
WEEK 8: BUILD EMOTIONAL REGULATION SKILLS
Let’s help you create a blueprint for experiencing healthier relationships.
Why It Works
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Why It Works *
“What Would Secure Me Do?” isn’t just a program – it’s a mindset shift. By applying these evidence-based techniques, you’ll stop reacting from a place of fear or insecurity and start responding from a foundation of self-trust and confidence.
WHAT'S INCLUDED IN THE COACHING PACKAGE:
✓ Eight one-on-one 60 minute video coaching calls over Zoom.
✓ A step-by-step framework with practical tools and exercises to align with your secure self.
✓ Actionable prompts with daily practices to help you implement secure habits in daily life.
✓ Email support for additional coaching and guidance.
✓ Lifetime access to the My Secure Self E-Course , allowing you to revisit and review all the tools and strategies covered during our time working together, whenever you need a refresher.
WHAT MICHELLE B. HAS TO SAY…
ATTACHMENT COACHING IS FOR YOU IF:
✓ You want a structured and action-oriented approach to meeting your relationship goals.
✓ You want an accelerated program with easy-to-implement tools and strategies to end your self-sabotaging attachment patterns.
✓ You want a proven framework and blueprint to embody a healthier you.
BOOK YOUR FREE 20 MINUTE CLARITY CALL
(LIMITED SPACES AVAILABLE)
