ATTACHMENT
COACHING
“WHAT WOULD SECURE ME DO?”™
Helping you end unhealthy relationship patterns by embracing the mindset and habits of secure attachment.
(INDIVIDUALS AND COUPLES)
Do you wish you could approach dating and relationships with calm, clarity, and confidence, like the secure version of yourself you know is within reach?
What’s Keeping You Stuck?
Do you often feel:
✓ Overwhelmed by fear of rejection or abandonment?
✓ Afraid to express your feelings and needs, fearing you’ll disappoint or push others away?
✓ Caught in a cycle of overthinking or second-guessing your decisions?
✓ Unsure how to set boundaries or maintain your sense of self in relationships?
✓ Frustrated by your behaviors and not knowing how to change them?
Then this is your opportunity to break free from those patterns and step into the version of yourself who knows how to create healthy, fulfilling relationships.
Through the My Secure Self Method® you will learn the tools, strategies, and mindset shifts to help you align with the secure version of yourself in relationships. It’s not about pretending to be someone you’re not – it’s about uncovering the confident and authentic you that’s already there!
I’m Jessica Da Silva, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Attachment Coach, and author, helping adults with insecure attachments (i.e., anxious, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant styles) end unhealthy attachment patterns, reconnect to their authentic selves, and build lasting confidence in their relationships.
After personally experiencing numerous unhealthy relationships that I was equally responsible for, I was determined to heal the insecurities driving my self-sabotaging behavioral patterns. Growing up with a predominantly fearful avoidant attachment style (leaning anxious), I would find myself easily triggered within relationships. Jealousy, worry, overthinking, and control were common experiences that would provoke much of my self-sabotage. And because I had no understanding of these internal challenges, let alone how to navigate them in a healthy way, I would instantly become reactive and therefore behave in ways that were counterproductive to creating the healthy, secure relationships I deeply craved.
Attachment research shows us that our earliest relationship dynamics greatly influence how we experience love as adults. These earlier experiences (whether with caregivers, romantic partners, friends, or other significant figures) become the relational blueprints we subconsciously follow and recreate, until we make the conscious choice to shift our internal working models.
After ending a very painful and chaotic relationship years ago, I decided to continue my education in psychology by enrolling in a Master’s Program for Marriage and Family Therapy and immersing myself in the world of self-development, committed to breaking generational patterns and learning what healthy, secure love actually looks like.
I worked with children, families, individuals, and couples to find healthier ways of relating to themselves and those around them.
These transformative years helped me realize:
Our past does not have to define our future…
We can train our brain to work for us rather than against us…
Learning healthier ways of responding versus reacting are pivotal for ending self-sabotage and creating secure relationships…
We can 100% learn to become more securely attached by implementing small and effective shifts into our daily lives.
Since then, I’ve branched into attachment coaching, helping thousands of people transform the way they experience love through the My Secure Self Method®—a practical, evidence-based approach grounded in attachment theory and actionable steps. At the core of this work is the question What Would Secure Me Do?®, which I’ll be teaching and integrating with you throughout our one-on-one sessions.
NO MORE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. LET’S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT ;)
If you are looking for a solution focused and action oriented approach to healing, coaching is for you!
What clients are saying…
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Thank you sosososo much for this amazing experience of being involved in this program. ❤️❤️ The knowledge and skills that I have learned from you will always be carried with me no matter where I am. I have learned how to self-soothe, reflect on my needs, and use strategies to operate from a secure version of me with your help. I truly value all of your insights and guidance, I am so excited to continue building on these skills and creating a stronger secure version of myself.
Priyanka S.
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It’s been almost two years since I had my one on one sessions with Jessica and I’m now finally in a healthy relationship where vulnerability and communication are at the forefront and where anxiety has not arose once. I never thought I’d get to this place, but understanding my attachment style and understanding that it’s not a fault but a beautiful framework of how I need to be loved has truly changed my life.
Sophie B.
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I couldn’t be more grateful to Jessica. Learning about my attachment style and how it’s impacted all of my relationships has been so illuminating. It’s been one year since we stopped working together, and my marriage is still going strong. My triggers still come up occasionally, but thanks to the tools she has taught me, I can better handle what comes up for me. I never thought I would say that I feel like my “secure self”—but here we are!
Chris E.
WHAT ARE ATTACHMENT STYLES?
Attachment Theory is a well-researched psychological framework based on the idea that humans are biologically wired for connection. Our need for love and belonging is fundamental and it shapes how we experience relationships.
Most people relate through one (or a combination) of four attachment styles: Anxious, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant, or Secure. These patterns develop in early relationships and often carry into adulthood, which is why relationship dynamics can feel familiar or repetitive.
Understanding your attachment style helps explain:
Who you’re drawn to and why
The patterns you repeat in relationships
Your triggers, needs, and emotional reactions
How to move toward more secure, grounded connection
Awareness is the first step toward changing how you experience love.
ATTACHMENT STYLE BREAKDOWN
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SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE
You approach love with optimism, even through setbacks and heartbreak. Relationships feel safe, trusting, and dependable. You’re comfortable relying on others as well as yourself, and you navigate closeness without fear. You feel confident in your ability to give love—and equally secure in your ability to receive it.
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ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE
You long for connection but fear abandonment, making it hard to trust that love will last. Moments of disconnection, distance, rejection, or inconsistency can trigger intense overthinking, jealousy, and worry. You might find yourself becoming clingy or overly focused on your partner's needs, often neglecting your own in an effort to keep the relationship intact. Deep down, you may feel unsupported or unloved—even when you're not alone.
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DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
You tend to stay on the surface, often deflecting from deeper emotional intimacy—even though part of you may deeply crave it. Being alone feels safer and more manageable than the vulnerability that comes with close, committed relationships. These protective patterns can make you appear withdrawn, emotionally closed off, or rigid when it comes to love. Your partners often seek more emotional depth than you feel equipped to give, which can leave you feeling like a disappointment or emotionally overwhelmed.
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FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
You experience both anxious and avoidant patterns, creating a tug-of-war within your heart. You deeply crave love and have so much to give, yet you don’t feel truly safe in it. There’s a lingering fear that others will betray, abandon, or take advantage of you. As a result, you may find yourself drawing love in while simultaneously pushing it away—wanting connection, but fearing it at the same time. This inner conflict often leaves you feeling alone, guarded, and unsure of how to trust or let love in fully.
CLIENT TESTIMONIALS
Priyanka S.
Megan k.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE SINGLE:
Reconnect with your Secure Self by identifying and healing unresolved attachment patterns that may be influencing who you’re drawn to and how you show up in dating.
Understand the natural stages of relationships so you can release fantasy, create realistic expectations, and move with clarity rather than urgency.
Learn how you give and receive love through the lens of your attachment needs, belief systems, and nervous system responses.
Gain insight into your attraction patterns, who you’re drawn to, why it feels familiar, and whether it’s aligned with your Secure Self.
Clarify what to look for (and what to avoid) in a partner based on self-respect, emotional availability, and long-term compatibility.
Develop practical tools to cultivate secure attachment, so you can date from a grounded, confident place rather than fear, hope, or self-abandonment.
Learn to make dating decisions from your Secure Self, guided by the question: What Would Secure Me Do?
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
Develop a deeper understanding of both your attachment style and your partner’s, including how each of you gives, receives, and experiences love.
Identify your triggers and needs (and your partner’s) so conflict becomes an opportunity for understanding rather than disconnection.
Learn each other’s attachment language, helping both of you feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe.
Build the ability to set and communicate boundaries clearly, calmly, and without guilt or over-explaining.
Strengthen emotional self-regulation, so you can respond rather than react during moments of pain, distance, or misunderstanding.
Gain clarity and confidence in staying or leaving a relationship, making decisions from your Secure Self rather than fear or attachment activation.
Integrate practical tools that support secure attachment, consistency, and self-trust—individually and together.
MY SECURE SELF METHOD®
8 SESSION COACHING BREAKDOWN
(You have up to four months to use all eight sessions)
SESSION 1: RECOGNIZE YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE & YOUR INSECURE SELF:
Learn how your attachment style developed and how your Insecure Self shows up in relationships (without shame).
SESSION 2: CREATE YOUR SECURE SELF BLUEPRINT:
Define your Secure Self by identifying the values, behaviors, and choices that reflect who you are at your most grounded—giving you a clear internal reference point to return to when you feel triggered or uncertain.
SESSION 3: IDENTIFY YOUR NEEDS (SECURE SELF AWARENESS):
Learn how to recognize your emotional, relational, and nervous-system needs, especially the ones that have historically gone unmet or ignored.
SESSION 4: LEARN HOW TO MEET YOUR NEEDS FROM YOUR SECURE SELF:
Create a balanced approach to meeting your needs (neither over-relying on others nor doing everything alone).
SESSION 5: LEARN TO RESPOND FROM YOUR SECURE SELF (INSTEAD OF REACT)
Develop the ability to pause, regulate, and respond with clarity—rather than reacting through anxiety, urgency, withdrawal, shutdown, or old attachment wounds.
SESSION 6: REFRAME INSECURITIES THROUGH THE SECURE SELF LENS
Transform insecure thoughts and beliefs into grounded, compassionate, and self-led perspectives that support emotional safety and confidence.
SESSION 7: SET BOUNDARIES THAT STRENGTHEN YOUR SECURE SELF AND BUILD SELF-TRUST
Practice boundaries and decisions that reinforce self-respect, consistency, and trust in yourself (without over-explaining or guilt).
SESSION 8: INTEGRATION —LIVING AS YOUR SECURE SELF
Create a realistic, repeatable routine that helps you re-parent yourself and respond securely in everyday life.
Let’s help you create a blueprint for experiencing healthier relationships.
Why it works
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Why it works *
“What Would Secure Me Do?” isn’t just a program – it’s a mindset shift. By applying these evidence-based techniques, you’ll stop reacting from a place of fear or insecurity and start responding from a foundation of self-trust and confidence.
WHAT'S INCLUDED IN THE COACHING PACKAGE:
✓ Eight 60-minute one-on-one coaching sessions over Zoom (you have up to four months to complete all sessions).
✓ Support between sessions.
✓ A step-by-step framework with practical tools and exercises to align with your secure self.
✓ Actionable prompts with daily practices to help you implement secure habits in daily life.
✓ Lifetime access to the My Secure Self E-Course , allowing you to revisit and review all the tools and strategies covered during our time working together, whenever you need a refresher.
WHAT MICHELLE B. HAS TO SAY…
ATTACHMENT COACHING IS FOR YOU IF:
✓ You want a structured and action-oriented approach to meeting your relationship goals.
✓ You want an accelerated program with easy-to-implement tools and strategies to end your self-sabotaging attachment patterns.
✓ You want a proven framework and blueprint to embody a healthier you.
BOOK YOUR FREE 20-MINUTE CLARITY CALL
This complimentary call is a chance to explore your attachment patterns, clarify your goals, and see if we’re a good fit to work together. Coaching packages range from $500–$1,400 per month, depending on the level of support you need.
