8 WEEK package
Transform the way you experience love from the inside out.
◖ WELCOME ◗
If you were guided here, you might already have some awareness of the significant role your past experiences play in your current relationships…
✓ You’ve noticed specific trends in who and how you date.
✓ You’ve experienced repeating patterns in how you operate within your relationships.
✓ You desire love and connection, but depending on your Attachment Style, fear that it will either abandon, control or betray you.
✓ You’ve done some research and have even gone to therapy but are still having trouble putting the information into proper action.
Although you have insight around the problem(s) that needs to be addressed, you need guidance on the solution—Someone who can help you connect the pieces...Someone who can provide you with a proven framework and actual tools to help you heal and transform your attachment wounds right now!
Welcome! My name is Jessica Da Silva. I’m a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Attachment Coach helping adults end their unhealthy dating patterns and create strong, secure relationships using the Attachment Theory Framework.
After personally experiencing numerous unhealthy relationships, I was determined to heal the insecurities driving my unhealthy dating patterns. I’ve always deeply desired a stable and loving relationship but didn’t have the best examples of how to create and, most importantly, maintain one. I knew that to evolve from my prior ways of experiencing love, I would have to make myself and my healing a priority.
Let’s just say it’s WAY less painful to point the finger at others than to acknowledge that we are the common denominator in every relationship…
After ending my last (and final) unhealthy relationship years ago, I decided to continue my education in Psychology by enrolling in a Master’s Program for Marriage and Family Therapy and immersing myself in the world of self-development.
I worked with children, families, individuals, and couples to find healthier ways of relating to themselves and those around them.
These transformative years helped me realize:
We can train our brains to work for us rather than against us…
Our past does not have to define our future…
We can 100% learn to become more securely attached by implementing small shifts into our daily life.
Since then, I have used this knowledge to create and maintain a loving and secure relationship with myself (first and foremost) and my amazing partner. And I have branched out into attachment coaching, helping hundreds of people transform the way they experience love through practical, evidence-based strategies that I’ll be teaching you during our ten weeks of working together.
NO MORE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. LET’S DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
This coaching style is for you if you’re looking for a solution-focused and action-oriented approach to healing.
WHAT CLIENTS ARE SAYING...
WHAT ARE ATTACHMENT STYLES AND HOW CAN IT HELP YOU CHANGE THE WAY YOU EXPERIENCE LOVE?
Attachment Theory is a highly recognized evolutionary and psychological approach based on the scientific fact that all humans are wired for attachment.
What this means is that we all have a biological need for love and belonging….We can’t escape it, we can only learn and evolve from having these insights.
According to extensive research, we experience love and attachment in one (or a variation) of these four styles: Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized), and Secure Attachment Style.
These attachment styles are developed in our earlier relationships, with people we depended on or had an emotional connection with (i.e. with parents, caregivers, partners, friends, family, etc) and it follows us through adulthood…Which is why we find ourselves in cyclical and familiar relationship dynamics, time and time again.
Attachment theory gives us insight into:
-Why we choose certain partners.
-Why we repeat specific relationship patterns.
-Why we think, feel and behave the way we do when it comes to love.
-Our relationship triggers and needs.
-A framework to becoming more secure.
ATTACHMENT STYLES BREAKDOWN
SECURE ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with a Secure Attachment Style believes that emotional intimacy is safe. They have a positive concept of self and a positive concept of others. Love feels trusting and dependable. Secure Attachments know how to meet their own needs and can be empathetic to the needs of others. Not only do they feel confident in their ability to give love, but they’re just as secure in their ability to receive it.
ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with an Anxious Attachment Style has a deeply rooted fear of abandonment. If love or emotional intimacy felt fleeting or conditional in their earlier relationships, then they are most likely hypervigilant in their relationships to anything that may indicate rejection. Things like disconnection, distance and inconsistencies will cause the anxious attached person to overthink, excessively worry, be overly dependent, feel “not good enough” and over compensate to keep the relationship at float.
DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
Someone with a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style has difficulty with emotional intimacy. They have a hard time connecting to their emotions and expressing what is on their heart. This disconnect causes a lot of the challenges they face within their relationships. Avoidant’s also have a tendency of withdrawing and distancing themselves when they experience relationship anxiety.
FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT STYLE
A person with a Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style lives in an ambivalent state of wanting closeness/connection and then wanting distance. As Katy Perry so perfectly put it: “You’re hot then your cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down…” That sounds about right! They have both anxious and avoidant tendencies.
Fearful Avoidant’s experienced deep traumas and forms of enmeshment in their earlier relationships. They have the capacity to love and connect with those closest to them but simultaneously fear that they will be betrayed or taken advantage of. These beliefs trigger much of the relationship anxiety they experience and sabotaging behaviors.
It’s important to note that these attachment styles are dimensional states of being. Although you share common tendencies with one or more of these styles, you are not forever tied to any style. You may fluctuate from each style depending on certain people you date, traumas or healings you experience, as well as other significant life events.Through this coaching experience, you will learn the re-programming processes to transition from an insecure to secure attachment style!
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE SINGLE:
- A deep understanding of how you give and receive love.
- Insight into your dating patterns: Who you’re attracted to and why you tend to be attracted to those types of people.
- What to look for and what to avoid in a potential partner based on your specific attachment needs.
- How to identify someones attachment style within the first few interactions and how you can use that insight to better navigate the dating realm.
- Simple re-programming techniques to heal and transform your attachment style.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP:
- Having a deep understanding of you and your partners attachment style: How you both give and receive love.
- Insight on your triggers and needs within the relationship, as well as your partners.
- Understanding each others attachment language so you both feel seen and heard.
- How to set and communicate boundaries.
- How to emotionally self-regulate in times of pain and disconnect.
- Confidence in staying or leaving a relationship.
- Simple re-programming techniques to heal and transform your attachment style.
ADVANTAGES OF DOING THIS COACHING IF YOU WORK IN THE HELPING PROFESSION:
- Having a scientific framework to better understand your clients emotional wounds, fears and mental blocks that are preventing them from getting to their desired goals.
- Proven (and practical) psychological strategies to help your clients heal their attachments and therefore their relationship to self and others: Worksheets, meditations, re-programming techniques & self-love practices. All of which are yours to keep and use in your practice!
- A language to help your clients identify and communicate their unique needs and desires.
- Confidence in helping your clients reach their desired outcomes.
- Professional dynamic between you and client.
- A large collection of resources and scientific research to support your healing work.
Having this knowledge is VITAL.
When we shift our attachment style, it reflects in our romantic relationships and how we relate to everything in our life!
8 WEEK COACHING BREAKDOWN
Each session is geared towards helping you learn insights and skills for cultivating a secure attachment style. Although sessions are structured, I like to keep them flexible to meet your needs.
SESSION 1: UNDERSTANDING THE INS AND OUTS OF YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE
In order to make the changes we want to see within ourselves and our relationships, it’s crucial to first understand how we experience love and why we do the things we do.
Attachment Theory gives us a framework and a language to understand our thoughts, feelings and behaviors when it comes to matters of the heart.
In this session, you will gain insight into your patterns, insecurities, triggers and unique relationship needs.
SESSION 2: BECOMING YOUR SECURE SELF
In this session, you will learn what a secure attachment looks like and scientific proof that you can also shift from an insecure to a secure attachment style!
Together, we will help you get crystal clear on the secure version of yourself you are looking to embody.
In order to support you in this process, you will have access to:
- An in-depth Secure Self Development Worksheet and Guide
- A 5 Minute Secure Self Daily Journaling Practice
- A Guided Secure Self Visualization Meditation
These tools are designed to be simple to implement, yet instrumental for your growth.
SESSION 3: DISCOVERING AND COMMUNICATING YOUR RELATIONSHIP NEEDS
In this session, you will learn the human language of feelings and needs. When we understand the nature of our emotions, we can better soothe ourselves and share them with others.
Instead of feeling anxious about your emotions, you will be able to identify the need behind this discomfort and effectively communicate it.
Not only do you gain more confidence through this process, but you also teach others how to treat you.
No more wondering what your emotions mean or feeling shameful about them. With this knowledge, you will have clarity on how to navigate these normal internal experiences.
SESSION 4: ESTABLISHING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
In this session, you will learn how to create healthy interdependence versus co-dependence or hyper-independence, as well as how to set healthy boundaries to prevent resentment, burnout, and dissatisfaction in your relationships.
I will guide you though:
- The three different types of boundaries.
- How to set healthy boundaries within different areas of your life.
- How to honor and communicate your boundaries.
These learnings will help you experience more certainty, peace and stability within yourself and your relationships.
SESSION 5: REFRAMING YOUR INSECURE THOUGHTS INTO SECURE BELIEF SYSTEMS
In this session, you will go from becoming aware of your sabotaging thinking patterns to doing something about them.
So often, I have people say they’ve gone to therapy and know their challenges but don’t know how to change.
In this session, I will guide you through my 4-Step Secure Reframe Process to help you shift your insecure thinking patterns into secure belief systems.
These steps are comprised of some of my favorite evidence-based approaches: Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy, and Solution Focused Therapy. These steps are simple to implement yet profoundly effective. It’s a tool you will use with any challenging thought that comes your way.
SESSION 6: HEALING ATTACHMENT TRAUMA
Self-Reparenting is the process of giving ourselves the love and support we didn’t get from our attachment figures and healing those relational experiences.
In this process, you will learn to:
- Love and care for yourself.
- Create more positive self-talk.
- Learn to accept yourself.
- Regulate your emotions by soothing your nervous system when triggered.
- Increase your self-esteem.
- Re-work bad habits.
- Become more independent and self-reliant.
- Learn healthy conflict communication.
- Manage your relationship anxiety.
SESSION 7: REFRAME YOUR SHAME
In this session, you will learn how to form a new relationship with some of the unlikeable parts of your attachment style through Shadow Work.
It’s only through acknowledging and accepting all parts of ourselves, that we are able to live more authentically and freely.
By learning to navigate this “gray space”, we experience more harmony within ourselves and our relationships.
SESSION 8: SELF-KINDNESS AND FORGIVENESS
Becoming securely attached requires a change in patterns, but in that process, it takes patience and A LOT of self-compassion.
In this session, you will learn mindful self-compassion techniques to support you through these transitions with more grace and ease.
You will also learn my favorite strategy for forgiveness so that you can cut emotional ties from the past and move forward in the right direction.
These building blocks will be the cherry on top!—Tools that will serve as your secure base forever.
WHAT'S INCLUDED IN THE COACHING PACKAGE:
✓ Eight one-on-one 60 minute video coaching calls over Zoom.
✓ Email support throughout our 8 weeks of working together.
✓ 2 month free access to the My Secure Self Membership, which includes monthly workshops, live Q & A’s, and a supportive community.
✓ Lifetime access to the My Secure Self E-Courses (Value $4000+).
✓ Resources that will support your healing process (i.e. worksheets, pdf’s, books, guides, meditations, and more).
8 WEEK 1:1 COACHING PRICE
PAY IN FULL $3500
2 MONTHLY PAYMENTS $1838
4 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF $919
6 MONTHLY PAYMENTS OF $612