I’m going to keep it 100% real with you…
We can’t completely get rid of our attachment style, but we can learn to become more securely attached which will overall better our relationship to self, other’s and the world at large.
You might be thinking, “WHY CAN’T I COMPLETELY GET RID OF IT? I DON’T WANT IT!”
I totally get it, but just think about when you fall and cut yourself. The wound will heal but the scar remains. Same goes with healing your attachment style. The wounds from your past can heal when you learn to properly process them, but not only will the memory remain, but that wounded area might even feel a little sensitive for some time.
In other words, certain types of people or situations can still be triggering for you, but by learning secure ways of operating, you can better navigate and cope with anxiety inducing situations (or people) that come your way!
I’ll give you an example…
I’m a recovering Fearful Avoidant (aka Anxious-Avoidant) who is now more securely attached, however, I’m still sensitive to certain situations (ex. when my boyfriend isn’t completely transparent with me) and will sometimes jump to the conclusion that he’s being unfaithful in some way. Now, instead of acting on that familiar and insecure thought, I now have the tools to act from a more secure place.
Notice the triggering thought.
Question that thoughts validity.
And most importantly, consciously choose to act from a more trusting place.
This isn’t always easy, especially in the beginning, but it does become more natural with enough consistency and time. Trust me.
So lets get to it! How do we begin healing your Anxious Attachment style so that you can feel more secure…
- Research your attachment style: Your triggers, your needs, belief systems associated with your attachment style, how you give and receive love…
- Practice self-love strategies. People with an anxious attachment style tend to carry a lot of shame for their internal experiences and needs. Self-acceptance can begin eliminating some of those negative associations.
- Practice self-soothing skills and meeting your own needs when other’s can’t meet them for you.
- Learn to Self Re-Parent–It’s a wonderful psychological strategy to begin healing your inner child and changing the way you relate to & treat yourself.
- Seek professional support to help you process your unresolved emotions and embody a more secure attachment style. Click here to learn more about my 1:1 coaching services.
I want you to know that YOU CAN feel better about yourself and experience healthier relationships. Your attachment style isn’t your fault, but it is your responsibility to heal it if it isn’t serving you.